Scotland under Stress

These are difficult times for both commercial and public sector organisations, nationally and internationally. And such difficulties impact on the individuals who drive the success of your organisation.

At times like these, feelings may run high, not only undermining working relationships, but impacting on the teamwork so essential in the workplace. Which is where, whether in the workplace or personal lives, Rowan's team of skilled and experienced practitioners can help:

• Steve Coulson, our Head of Coaching, looks at how managers can start using coaching skills to relieve stress in the workplace ... more

Steve is a highly qualified coach, whose clients have included managers from Tesco, PepsiCo, Sainsbury's and Unilever. Book now on Rowan's Certificate in Coaching Skills and benefit from his experience.

• Head of Counselling and Psychotherapy, Mark Hancock, looks at how you can relieve your own stress by applying some straightforward techniques ... more.

Mark manages Rowan's Employee Counselling Services, helping individuals tackle the stresses in their lives.

• Conflict is a common cause of stress in our lives. Rachel Weiss, Rowan's Managing Partner qualified in mediation, training and psychotherapy, suggests that saving face will help resolve conflicts in a more productive way ... more.

To gain practical experience of resolving conflicts, book now onto Rowan's Mediation Skills Training course.

We hope you find this newsletter helpful. Contact Rowan on 01738 562005 or see our website for further information.

Many of my clients are at the point of developing their coaching skills where they are asking "Who sets the agenda?" and "How and when would I start to use these techniques?"

I would like to consider these questions here.

Who sets the agenda?

Many managers struggle with the idea that the coachee should set the agenda and define what they want help with and the form that help should take. They are uneasy with the notion of handing over control when they feel responsible for improving the performance of different people in areas they judge as important.

In reality, this loss of control does not occur. Managers do set the main agenda because they determine priorities and key objectives. But when it comes to coaching people to improve their performance and reach their goals managers need to allow them to set their own agenda to achieve those goals. Experience shows that this produces the best results.

How do I get started?

The benefits of adding coaching to other management skills are indisputable if managers wish to improve the performance of their team and the overall organisation. Coaching is not difficult but like every other skill, it improves with practice. The best coaches have spent - and continue to spend - a lot of time practising. But the question remains: how and when to start?

The following suggestions may be helpful:

Powerful coaching questions

There is no recipe for an effective coaching question, but useful ones are open questions which open horizons and make people think so use, "What?", "When?" "How?"

eg "What would happen if you did nothing?"

"What other options can you think of?"

"What will happen if you change?"

Note, "Why?" is rarely a useful question, since it can put people on the defensive.

Informal coaching (little and often)

If you practice coaching questions at work you'll find that even the briefest conversation can have a coaching feel because you'll increase awareness, responsibility and trust.

Practise using this informal coaching as often as possible. It is just as powerful as a formal coaching session and you'll find that people become increasingly willing and able to improve their own performance.

Carpe Diem (Seize the day)

An ideal opportunity to use coaching techniques is when someone wants to discuss a problem or an idea. The advantage is that it arises from an issue that they perceive and at their request. Just remember to use coaching questions and a framework such as GROW to structure the discussion. The more you practice coaching techniques the more they'll become part of your communication style and the more you'll appreciate how helpful they can be.

For almost any issue at work (or in life!) coaching can be used to get things moving and develop people in the process. This makes demands more manageable and thus will relieve stress.

Steve Coulson, Head of Coaching

Stress is a normal part of our lives which occurs whenever we feel unable to meet the demands made on us. Stress can be a positive response when we are in danger because it allows us to fight or take flight. In the workplace, short term stress can give us the push to get tasks done. Long term stress however, will eventually lead to health problems so here are some tips to ease your stress levels.

1. Learn more about stress and its effects
2. Take care of yourself physically - food, exercise, rest etc.
3. Choose a relaxation technique and use it regularly
4. Take care of yourself emotionally - acknowledge and express your feelings
5. Build a strong support network
6. Decide what really matters to you and set your priorities accordingly
7. Learn to say NO
8. Create stability zones during times of change
9. Give yourself treats
10. Give yourself (and others) credit for things done well

You are probably already doing some of these tips, well done! - give yourself credit for taking positive steps in your life. Now could be the time to try something new for stress relief, maybe try one of the tips which would be easy for you to integrate into your life. If any of the tips jump out at you that are particularly challenging, saying "no" for instance, then maybe these are areas that you need extra help working on. Rowan is here to provide that support.

Mark Hancock, Head of Counselling and Psychotherapy

April saw the first birthday of the Employment Act , April 2009. The Act strongly recommends that informal dispute resolution methods, such as mediation, be used before formal procedures like grievances and disciplinaries are invoked.

Too often formal procedures alienate the two parties involve, often over-complicating a conflict which could be resolved by simply letting each party understand their opponents point of view. One important factor is saving face.

Have you ever found yourself backed into a corner, defending a position which you no longer believe in, but feeling there is no way out without losing face? This often happens as disputes escalate and mud is thrown by each side.

People need a chance to save face, and often this means going slower, ie taking time to hear their point of view, to let them suggest the solution or concession themselves, rather than having it imposed on them. The difference in approach is subtle but powerful and can make all the difference between resistance and co-operation.

Rachel Weiss, Rowan Senior Partner